Archive for September 7th, 2008

The ties that bind …

I didn’t want to let go.

My brother and I were dropping off mom and dad at the airport, appreciating our last moments together after a wonderful week celebrating our cousin’s wedding with a lot of other family members.

It was while I was hugging my parents, saying my goodbyes, that I felt a sudden, powerful twinge of sadness. And I realized I didn’t want to let go.

Family, and parents in particular, can drive you crazy, but it is also so easy to take for granted all the amazing things they offer – the support, the advice, the unconditional love. Just because we’re now adults doesn’t mean the world always makes sense, and it is during those times when it doesn’t, when you feel alone, confused, even lost, that having family to lean on becomes such an amazing gift.

I hate hearing stories about family members who no longer speak to one another. It seems so tragic to me.

I understand that there are cases where so much damage has been done, where terrible things may have happened, that it becomes impossible to mend relationships, that family becomes an empty word, that the very idea of staying in touch with someone because there is some shared DNA sounds downright ludicrous.

But usually, the source of family strife is at its core a rather simple matter or misunderstanding that grows over time into a knotty, complicated beast, either because of tensions that had long been building or because of a lack of honest and open communication (and often because of both reasons).

I wish it could be easy for quarreling family members to look past ego or pride or principle and do what it takes to resolve their problems, but the tight binds of family, and the intense passions they can arouse, often make it impossible for one to keep a clear perspective.

But I know what families can be at their best. I’ve been fortunate enough to have one that qualifies. And they’re worth the effort of fixing them when they go wrong …

And of not letting go of them when they’re right.


 

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