I am thankful for bloodless inquisitions …

More Questions: Thanksgiving Edition … Remember, a more robust answer/comment section on this post appears over at dagblog.com!

1) Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Focus on the sound of my typing. OK, now we’re going to go back, way back in time, all the way to your teenage years. That’s right. Relax. Don’t be scared. They can’t hurt you now. OK, now that we’re a teenager again, I’m going to give you a pop culture medium and I want you to tell me the first thing that pops into your mind, perhaps the example that best defines that period in your life or perhaps just something you remember vividly for whatever reason. OK, ready? (Please, just ignore the acne for a moment)

(My choices in parentheses)

TV show? (Seinfeld) …

Movie? (Field of Dreams) …

Album? (Rattle and Hum) …

Video game? (Super Mario Bros.) …

Book? (The Great Gatsby) …

Ok, great. Next week, we’ll go back even further.

2) Wait, before we bring you back to the present, one more question: What homemade dish did your mom or dad make that you remember the best??

3) Speaking of childhood pleasures, do you still play with bubble wrap and are you as pissed as I am that most packages now come with this way un-fun air-filled bag wrapping or even worse, imposter bubble wrap whose bubbles you can’t pop?? What the Ef is that?

4) Crossword puzzles or Sudoku? Assuming you’re cool like me and say crosswords, what day for NYT puzzles can you normally complete without Googling? Despite years of practice, I’m sadly just a Wed. guy myself, tho I can usually do 80-plus percent of Thursday’s and actually usually get close on the Sunday magazine one, which is easily my favorite …

5) As you can tell from my pic, I don’t like shaving and avoid it whenever possible. I also find the razor blade arms race to be annoying; I believe the innovation worked for a while, but then it just became overkill. I stopped at the battery-powered three-blade gizmo. What do you use: b) two-blades c) three blades d) four blades e) five blades f) electric razor g) cheap disposable razor h) other (please describe)?

For our female daggers, from which body parts do you wax/bleach/trim hair on a regular basis (choose all that apply): a) Arms b) armpits c) legs d) upper lip e) butt f) genital region??

6) Do you think that somebody who has sex or gets involved with someone who they know is in another relationship and having an illicit affair has a right to expect fidelity from their own partners? I believe that even if you aren’t the cheating one, by enabling an affair, you are on some level condoning the behavior.

7) I believe I’ve found the key to spotting market bubbles: Track which industries are suddenly able to afford outrageous rent costs. When I was in San Francisco in the late nineties, every new office space was being gobbled up by dot-coms. In New York, every time a store or restaurant closed in my neighborhood the last couple of years, a bank took its place. By that measure, what do you think the next bubble will come from? (I say either pawn shops or sushi joints.)

8) I love to play a couple of Facebook games, like Who Has the Biggest Brain or Geo Challenge, which keep track of everybody’s scores. Yet while I can beat many if not all of my friends (mostly because i get obsessive), it seems like ALL of the top scores are filled by foreign users (many with Middle Eastern/Israeli-sounding names), and the scores are not even close to the ones I’m getting. Many in the message boards accuse the foreigners of cheating … Are foreigners less honest than Americans or just way smarter?

9) I enjoy wine, but the whole wine fetish crowd tends to annoy me. The seemingly arbitrary pricing, the detailed etiquette of choosing which wine with what food, of using the right glass with the right wine, the elaborate process of tasting the wine and holding the glass correctly, the goofy adjectives they use to describe the wine. Do you believe there’s a real science to wine connoisseurship or it’s just a bunch of pretentious hokum?

10) What are you most thankful for this year?

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