Posts Tagged 'food'

Questions: The Wedding Edition

Oh man. I used to love weddings. I really did. I thought they were fun affairs where you got to see family and friends, drink and dance, and just have a good ole time. Plus, when I was single, I almost always got lucky at weddings – something in the air lends itself to sex and romance I guess.

So i always thought I wanted a big wedding because then it’s all the good things about weddings but you’re the center of attention and getting all the gifts!! What’s not to love?

Of course, now that I’m knee deep in planning my own wedding, I understand. They are awful, awful things. My family and my family-to-be are doing more than fair share in helping to plan and pay for the wedding (big shout-out to the parent-in-laws to be here!) and still the list of things to do and pay for is just about endless. Is it too late now to elope???

Anyway, in the spirit of wedding frustration, I present this edition of questions. Now in some of these, I’m appealing for advice, so please help a brother out.

As always, for a more active discussion, visit this post over at

1) What’s the one song you think should be played at every wedding? What one song should never be played? help us build the ultimate wedding playlist!

2) Think back to the weddings you enjoyed most. What did they have in common? What about the ones you enjoyed the least?

3) What number of people is the ideal size for a wedding?

4) What’s your ideal wedding: A) Small destination wedding b) Big, lavish affair c) Elope to nearest City Hall or Vegas d) Does not exist

5) If you’ve gone through your own wedding, what one piece of advice would you give someone about to plan/have their own?

6) What is one wedding tradition you would like to see obliterated forever?

7) Best part about the typical wedding meal: a) Cocktail food, b) main course, c) dessert, d) just the cocktails?

8) Ethnic weddings: Which ones are the best and why?

9) What’s a good groomsmen gift? (Do not say a fully loaded Mercedes, Genghis!)

10) Pick one: a) Band or DJ? b) Sit-down meal or buffet c) Chicken Dance or Electric Slide d) Pigs in a Blanket or Sushi? e) White or Chocolate Wedding Cake f) Templated or Individualized Vows g) Tux or Suit for Groom h) Prenup or not i) Complete Set of China or Big-Screen TV j) Menu choices on invitation or no?

MOFT: Episode 8 (Reddi-Wip)

The first time I remember seeing a Reddi-wip can was on a camping trip during a high school summer when some of my friends tried to get high by snorting the nitrous oxide gas inside it. Even back then, a ‘whippit’ sure looked like a stupid, only mildly effective, thing to do.

But now almost 20 years later, Reddi-Wip is indeed getting me high on a regular basis — through sheer creamy goodness. I’m telling you, I am using this shit in and on everything. Hot cocoa, coffee, peanut butter sandwiches, cereal, cookies. It’s just a beautiful, beautiful invention (and not surprisingly, it was a St. Louisan, Aaron ‘Bunny’ Lapin, who made it all happen some 60 years ago). Congrats, Reddi-Wip, you are easily My One Favorite Thing of the week.

The best part is the regular stuff has only 15 calories and 1 gram of fat, and the fat-free variety is only 5 calories and basically just as good. (It also comes in Chocolate, which is awesome, and Extra Creamy, which just sounds way too sinfully decadent to try even though it only has a mere 20 calories a serving).

Want a really delicious, relatively healthy snack? Try a couple of Stella D’oro Almond Toast cookies (100 calories, 2g fat, 0 saturated) and then cover them with some Redi-Whip … hmmm-mmm…

I frankly just don’t understand how the caloric content can be so low. Now zero calories in diet soda and the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Spray, that I understand, because those things taste like the chemical crap they are, but Reddi-Wip is so creamalicious, it’s like taking a drink straight from a cow’s teat.

And as if it couldn’t get any more perfect, Reddi-Wip is also a great accessory for naughty sex play. Certainly much better than chocolate body paint, which by the time you get anywhere good, you’re already in a hypoglycemic diabetic shock.

There is only one small caveat when it comes to Reddi-Wip enjoyment. For your own good, do not accept offers for Reddi-Wip when you’re at someone else’s house as it is effing impossible to resist the temptation to use one’s mouth to clean off the top of the can after spraying it. not to mention, there may be punk teenagers in the house who try and snort the damn thing when mom and dad aren’t around. So just do what I do and bring a can of Reddi-Wip with you wherever you go.

(P.S. I am amazed that ‘Reddi-Wip’ is how you spell the product. If someone would have asked me before writing this, i would have gotten both parts of the hyphenate wrong. It’s much easier to write Nature’s Perfect Food anyway).

May 2015
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